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A Girlfriend’s Guide: Meeting Your Howe’s Parents

Meeting your howe’s family can be nerve-wracking but don’t worry too much. The fact that he wants you to meet them should be enough reason to be confident in your ability to make a positive impression. You care about him, so it seems reasonable that you want to win over the people who are most important to him. Keep these five suggestions in mind to be calm.

1. Be confident! 

Keep in mind that he wants you to meet them. This indicates that he’s probably given them a glowing recommendation of you, so you’re already off to a good start. Be confident in yourself, and let them know it. Don’t pretend to appreciate certain hobbies or things only to please your howe’s parents. They will respect you for who you are. Talk to them like you would to someone you respect and know well. 

2. Dress appropriately

Go for a more natural, “no makeup” makeup look. Dress appropriately to demonstrate that you are interested in meeting them. A blouse with pants or an A-line skirt that hits at your knee or slightly above is a foolproof ensemble. This style doesn’t reveal too much skin, but it’s still attractive and acceptable for a meet-the-parents occasion.

3. Avoid sensitive issues

When you initially meet his family, avoid sensitive issues such as politics and religion. However, be sure you read a news source that covers a wide range of topics beforehand, so you’re up to date on current events. Discuss topics that will not be contentious. If they bring up politics or religion, respond honestly and tactfully to avoid sparking an argument. It’s fine to disagree with them, just make sure to do it politely. 

4. Show Interest

Speak to them! Meeting your howe’s family allows them to get to know someone who is significant in their son’s life, but it also allows you to do the same. No one loves the silent visitor, so participate in the discussion when necessary but avoid interrupting. Don’t just wait for them to ask you questions; instead, ask them your own. Participate actively in getting to know your partner’s parents. We all want to know that we are being heard and that someone actually cares about what we have to say. We suggest “peeling the onion” throughout the dialogue to accomplish this. Investigate what they say one layer at a time. In order to grasp them, ask follow-up questions.

Only chatting with your partner or whispering to him will be considered disrespectful. Here are some good conversation starters: 1) If you’re eating at their place you can say: “I love the food that you cooked! How were you able to do it?”  2) “I adore that childhood photo of [your howe] – could you tell me about when it was taken?” 3) “So, where did you grow up?” Bonus on question number three: ask your howe ahead of time and prepare yourself. If they grew up in a place all of you reside in, think of an area or a structure you’re fascinated about and ask them about it. If they’re from somewhere else, look up where they’re from and learn a few things about the location. Pay attention to how people identify themselves and use their names while speaking with them. Make an attempt to establish a conversation with your howe’s siblings as well. Remember that you are a visitor if you are eating at their home. After dinner, offer to help clean up and thank them when you’re through.

5. Speak in Chinese, if you can.

The great majority of Chinoys were raised speaking a combination of English, Filipino, and Hokkien. It’s their linguistic version of that cozy pair of jeans you like to wear around the house, and it’s probably what you’ll hear at the dinner table. Just think of how delighted they’ll be if you can grasp a handful of simple words or phrases! Even if it’s as simple as “Thank you” and “How are you?” After all, if you’re a fellow Chinoy, it demonstrates that you’re still connected to your Chinese culture, and if you’re a Filipino, it shows that you care for their son enough to respect and honor their culture and customs.

Meeting the parents is a significant event in every romantic relationship for everyone involved. You only get one chance to create a first impression, and first impressions are important. We hope that these tips were able to help you prepare for this and we wish all of you the best!

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