“Unsubtle Howe Searching: Great Wall Edition” and “Fil-Chi KaiShao Group (25-40 y/o only)” are just some of the Facebook hubs where people can “auction off” their single friends by posting their dating profiles. Most posts consist of a reel of photos, basic information, physical and education stats, and a list of pros and cons. Members are given the option of “shooting their shots,” that is by messaging strangers after seeing their “auction” profiles.
Although, the question we’re all asking is whether these Facebook groups are truly effective. And how does it differ from our typical dating apps? Let’s hear it from them!
Moderator: Sean Jerrold Esteban
1) How did the group started?
“We started the Fil-Chi KaiShao Group last April 2020 during the ECQ period. I decided to create a group with my friends to “pool” candidates within the Fil-Chi community that is within our age bracket 25 to 40 y/o, which we later adjusted to 25 to 45 y/o.”
“We also believe individuals ages 25 to 45 is presumably the age where everyone is thinking for the long term, future driven, and focused on having serious relationships. It made more sense since individuals who are a bit older tend to be more open to Kai Siao.”
2) Do people post often? How does the process work?
“We asked members to seek consent from their single Fil-Chi friends that fit our required age group before posting them. Information comes from either close friends or even family members. We even had a dad who Kai Siao-ed his son in the group!”
3) How do you ensure the person’s personal information is kept private and confidential within the group?
“We use all possible tools that Facebook offers such as making it a private and hidden group. In addition, indicated in our group rules is requesting everyone to respect each other’s privacy, and reminding them that the information shared in the group should stay in the group. Apart from that, all individuals that have requested us to have their posts taken down are done immediately.”
4) How does the group invite people to join?
“You have to be invited by someone who is a member, it works similarly to the central idea of Kai Siao which mainly means to refer, so we basically get the referrals of other members’ friends who they think is eligible to join, in a way this is also a tool for us to filter out people who join. I believe most members wouldn’t want to invite someone who they think might eventually do something embarrassing or rude. Considering it is a valued principle in Fil-Chi community where majority values their name and word of honor.”
5) Do you know of any successful love stories achieved through this group?
“Yes, we’ve gotten several screenshots of individuals meeting someone from the group, albeit online due to the ECQ status. Likewise, we have heard stories from friends and members who have found potential matches. We sincerely hope that this platform/group/community would help everyone who are genuinely looking for a serious relationship.”
6) How does your group differ from our typical online dating applications? Do you think this is more effective?
“We think it’s effective on our niche, the Fil-Chi community, since we are conservative in nature and won’t really open up as much. We have this “great wall” for individuals of other cultures, and so we think this referral system or Kai Siao is a better way for singles to potentially meet a responsible and good individual.”
“Unlike with other platforms that cater to everyone, ours is more of a big group of Filipino-Chinese, it has a community vibe to it that everyone (hopefully!) feels at home and sees the group as a big high school meet up. To add, we also provide a platform for the members to discuss love-related topics or ask for advice from each other. This is also a great way for us to help each other understand, grow and learn.”
Moderator: Benedict Oyek
1) How did the group started?
“My friends and I made this group during the first few weeks of the ECQ. During this time, most students had a lot of free time and different types of groups suddenly emerged. One specific group caught my attention, as well as my friends’: Unsubtle Syota Searching, where single people are auctioned by their friends. We decided to test things out and make an exclusive singles group for Fil-Chi.”
“We came to the conclusion that Fil-Chi people weren’t posting in USS because it was in our nature to be inhibited and private, especially those raised within conservative households, but we thought that maybe if we made the environment something they were familiar with, say, their roots or the schoolmates they grew up with, maybe things would change, and they would be more confident and secure about themselves.”
2) Do people post often? How does the process work?
“People posted a lot during the group’s inception, and people were very active. However, since the declaration of GCQ and even during the middle part of ECQ, the group has been quite dormant. We also think that since it’s within Chinese people’s characteristics to be a tad bit conservative, “sliding in the DMs” of some auctioned people are uncomfortable for them, inhibiting the progress of a potential howe.”
“People can send a request to join the group if they want to join, but before we accept them, they have to fill out information and answer things only people from Chinese schools would know, such as what their Chinese name is, what percent of their blood is Chinese, etc. Once they’ve accomplished that, they’re subject to admin approval, which we accept once they’ve completed all requirements.”
3) Do you know of any successful love stories achieved through this group?
“Sadly, there hasn’t been any success stories from this group (as far as I know), but hey, who knows!”
4) How does your group differ from our typical online dating applications? Do you think this is more effective?
“It isn’t more effective, in my opinion and we didn’t think it would get big at all, so for it to come to this point, I would already call that a success. We differ from the norm because we personalize the person being auctioned, unlike dating apps, where you only view them as a “swipe left” or a “swipe right.””
“I still recommend trying all sorts of ways to meet “The One”, though. Don’t confine yourself to just one platform. Be open to anything and to anyone, ‘cause you never know, that one girl you meet in a Facebook group could be who you spend your future with.”
