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The Kai Shao Of Yesterday Vs. Today

If you’re a Chinoy, you’re probably well-acquainted with the word Kai Shao. Kai Shao (介紹 kài-siāu) is a Hokkien word which means “to introduce” in English or “pagpapakilala” in Filipino. Kai Shao can be considered as a spin-off from the whole arranged marriage idea wherein Kai Shao does not force someone to end up with the person that he/she was Kai Shao-ed to especially if they don’t hit it off. It is usually done by their common friends or families when one is already at the marrying age yet they are still single.

These days, there are a lot of modern Filipino-Chinese families who have started to become more open to the idea of giving their children their own choice in relationships. Some families are more open and only require their child’s significant other to at least have a percentage of Chinese blood, to be able to speak Chinese, and to be familiar with the Chinese culture; while other Fil-Chi families no longer follow that rule and have learned to look at the person as a whole regardless of their race and culture.

 With the ever-growing times and technology, Kai Shao has truly evolved with us. Here are three differences between Yesterday vs. Today’s Kai Shao!

1) Meaning of Kai Shao



Kai Shao was seen as something that was only done to single Chinoys within or beyond the marrying age.


Nowadays, single Chinoys see Kai Shao as optional and a win-win situation since if they don’t feel the connection, they can end up as friends which expands their connections and circle of friends as well. 

2) Pre-Kai Shao


Pre-date, you only know his/her name which makes Kai Shaos extremely nerve-wracking. You probably also have no idea what to expect and know anything bout that person. It’s kind of like a setup blind date.


Nowadays, once your relatives or friends mention a name, you can just search his/her name up on Facebook and know a little background about the person that is being introduced to you cause who doesn’t have Facebook nowadays, right?

 3) Kai Shao Platforms


Kai Shao was done through common friends, relatives, friends of relatives, and basically just people within your circle.


Nowadays, single Chinoys can join Kai Shao Facebook groups in hopes to find the one. Aside from Facebook groups, they can also use dating apps! 

There you have it! Three differences between Yesterday vs. Today’s Kai Shao! Kai Shao does not mean that you are required to end up marrying each other. Plus, it’s a great chance to meet a new friend just in case you feel like you and that person won’t match. Take note that Kai Shao is different from arranged marriage so don’t be scared of meeting someone new! Chances are either you’d gain a new friend or you’d finally meet the one!

P.S.: And always remember that you have the right to decline the Kai Shao offer.

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