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On Love, Dating, And Quaranflings: Why Love Can Wait Till After The Pandemic

So many of us are part of those quarantine kaishao groups like Unsubtle Howe Searching: Great Wall Edition and Fil-Chi Kaishao Group (25-45y/o only) right? Yes. 

Those groups might be quieter nowadays but admit it: once upon a March and April not only were you part of groups like those, but they were groups you’d CONSTANTLY follow, right? 

I mean c’mon, you’d react and comment on pictures of your friends. Yes, those pictures of them with someone else’s blurred face with an accompanying thought bubble that says, “This can be you!” 

Now don’t get us wrong, this article’s all for good and proper fun, but you’d probably also look at the pictures of people you’ve never met, and maybe you even imagined being on a date with them. (Just admit it.) 

Oh and maybe, just maybe, you yourself were featured in one of those groups! All it took was one message to the barkada chat to have someone willing enough to post your photos, bio, and those super non-realistic requirements in a partner. (I mean: no less than 5’8, no exceptions? We’re like kinda in the Philippines?!) 

Now, it’s likely that a number of people posted those just for fun. Kilig vibes from a new internet crushie who you probably would’ve never met.


But a lot of people were probably also dead serious about finding a future boyfriend or girlfriend. Others wanted to find quaranflings, which, according to Urban Dictionary, is an “online dating encounter that begins during quarantine, [is] used as a means to fill the dating void, and ends before quarantine is over.”

While both finding partners and quaranflings may make you kilig at first, the issue is this: you’re talking to someone you’ve never met behind a screen. You are getting to know someone, yes, but this reality you are getting to know is someone’s virtual reality. Is there any guarantee that this will be the same reality you’ll be interacting with when you actually meet the person, if it even gets to that point considering safety and all?

And why do we want partners and quaranflings anyway? For many people, it’s to find love.

But what is love? Well, do consider this meaning: love is willing and wanting the good of the other person. “Because I love you, I want to see you become the best person you can be. I want to see you become the person God made you to be, and I want to help you get there.” Now isn’t that pure, generous, innocent, self-giving love?

So, what does all this have to do with partners, quaranflings, and COVID-19? Well, if we’re to use the above definition of love, it would mean that asking someone out on a date is probably not advisable. You gotta love what’s good for them, and what’s good for them now is their safety and well-being.

Following from there, since you probably shouldn’t ask someone out on a date anytime soon, is virtually getting close to someone you’ve never met really the best idea? Probably not.

Now, just to be clear, this article talks about single people. Those who were in relationships even prior to the lockdowns should do their best to maintain them. Secondly, this article isn’t saying that there aren’t any success stories of people who first met online. Thirdly, this article doesn’t want to assume that it isn’t love when people engage with possible partners or quaranflings online.

What this article’s saying is essentially this: just be careful. Since the pandemic’s far from over, and since you likely won’t be meeting up in person anytime soon, meeting someone online and getting close to them is possibly not the most prudent idea because you run the risk of getting attached to someone’s virtual reality, not their actual person in real life. 

In addition, the pandemic has been tough on us all emotionally, so we have to be cautious to not just use someone online to fill up the void. 

So now what? The call right now for singles is to focus on yourself first during this time. Develop your own person. Pray. Cultivate talents. Spend time with your family. Allow yourself to become a better person first; that way, when the proper time comes, you’ll be able to better care and love another person the way he or she deserves to be loved.


The author of this article: 

An accomplished young Chinese Filipino writer and media personality, Aaron S. Medina is associated with the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the Ateneo de Manila University Chinese Studies Program, the Philippine Association for Chinese Studies, and CHiNOY TV. He has a passion for truth, justice, and Pokémon, too! Follow him on Facebook:

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